being wrong…

I thought I had to learn how to be different; I thought I had to be different. Cause the real me was not enough.

I didn’t like my family; I was ashamed with them. I was ashamed cause we had no means and didn’t strive for more.

I was ashamed of my shame.

I was ashamed I hated my dad; I was ashamed he hated my mom. I was ashamed we didn’t say goodbye.

I wanted my life to look different; I thought all the other kids were happy…except me.

I was so wrong.

I was blind; I didn’t see the love surrounding me. I didn’t see the arms stretching to hold me. It just wasn’t enough. I was wrong.

I don’t know where home is. I am looking for shelter…I am looking for love…but I have it right here. In the eyes of my child. In the eyes of V. In the eyes of my mom & grandma whom I haven’t seen for months…

I miss my family. I miss their loving arms. Always ready to hold me. I miss their eyes.

I miss being free. I don’t really know what free is. I’ve been pretending to fit into the mold.

I was wrong.

I am ashamed.

I am me.